Understanding lithospheric plate motions is of paramount importance to geodynamicists. Much effort is going into kinematic reconstructions featuring progressively finer temporal resolution. However, the challenge of precisely identifying ocean-floor magnetic lineations, and uncertainties in geomagnetic reversal timescales result in substantial finite-rotations noise. Unless some type of temporal smoothing is applied, the scenario arising at the native temporal resolution is puzzling, as plate motions vary erratically and significantly over short periods (<1 Myr). This undermines our ability to make geodynamic inferences, as the rates at which forces need to be built upon plates to explain these kinematics far exceed the most optimistic estimates. Here we show that the largest kinematic changes reconstructed across the Atlantic, Indian and South Pacific ridges arise from data noise. We overcome this limitation using a trans-dimensional hierarchical Bayesian framework. We find that plate-motion changes occur on timescales no shorter than a few million years, yielding simpler kinematic patterns and more plausible dynamics.